Saturday, November 11, 2017

When should we lie to our children?

Lying has always been one of my biggest pet peeves. As a young girl, I took very serious when a friend lied to me, big or little...for me, a lie was a lie.
It meant I couldn't trust that person.
My friendships with other kids who lied were very short.
It continues to this day. I don't enjoy being with people who lie...big ones or even little ones.

Sometimes, parents tell lies to their children and they think it's funny or they think it doesn't matter to lie to a child. The child doesn't understand or the child has to be protected or it just feels easier than telling the truth.

Sometimes, parents tell lies in order to preserve a cultural tradition.
Or because, we wish to equate childhood with a time of magic and a willingness to have faith in something that cannot be seen. 
And, then there are things in this world so horrible that we understand it could traumatize our children and cause so much confusion that they would feel scared. 
So, back to the question. 
When should we lie to our children?

If we knew that our child's consciousness to the world around them is increasing each day...
If we knew that doubting the truth in Mom and Dad would affect every future relationship...
Would it cause you to rethink those little lies?
Truth telling to your child will lead to tears in some cases. You may think that your child
"Can't handle the truth"
but 9 times out of 10...they can handle it.
Crying, temper tantrums, and disappointment are important feelings for children to go through and to learn how to manage.
It is not convenient to deal with your child's big emotions
but the more you invest in truth telling...
The more you will be able to trust your own child because she will learn to tell YOU the truth.
I promise you...Your child is paying attention...
Many times, they will listen to your conversations...they will hear the lies you tell other people.
They will learn by your example.

Albert Einstein:
"The Right to search for truth implies also a duty; one must not conceal any part of what one has recognized to be true."