Monday, September 19, 2022

Fall 2022 - Week 3 of Wonder Studio: Unshakably Good

Week 3 of Wonder Studio: Unshakably Good.

Hello Wonder'ers,

I recently listened to two podcasts that I feel are worth mentioning, I will list the links below...

Father Greg Boyle from Homeboy Industries talked about all of us being Unshakably Good.

The importance of letting go of good/bad people and putting a bar for others to measure up to.

He asks this question of:

How do we Cherish one another?

"G" said his intention is always to

"Delight in the people in front of him."

And, then Dr. Becky followed this message with teaching our children they are Good.

When behaviors are difficult, we begin with "Good Kid".

She says, “That’s not how behavior change works. We don’t change behavior by inserting a different behavior after. We change behavior by changing the process that would happen before.” Don’t we want to focus on the before? And that doesn’t make sense by focusing on the after. So that’s the biggest thing. So what would help? Well, I wonder what my good kid would need to not jump on the couch after I asked.

If I assume he’s a good kid having a hard time, not a bad kid doing bad things…

To me, both of these Podcasts are speaking about seeing both ourselves and others as "good".

Begin there.

Dr. Becky ended one of the Podcasts with this exercise which I find sooooooo tender and a KEY PARENTING SKILL. She says:

"So I think right now, if you think about something that you hold with a lot of shame, right? It’s something you did today, it’s something you did years ago, it’s some moment or behavior you remember and you’re like, it just feels that awful shame feeling. Then, form this fill-in-the-blank sentence with it.

I’m a good person who xxx xxxx.

So mine might be, I’m a good person who yelled at my kids this morning.

That formula I find is the simplest way to remind your body that who I am as a person inside is separate from this thing or this decision or this behavior that I really don’t feel proud of.

At Wonder Studio we talk about it being a Non-Judgement Zone.

Not judging ourselves, our kids, or the other kids/caregivers.

This helps us all to feel safe and to learn who we truly are inside.

Good.

Let me know your thoughts!

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