Sunday, July 5, 2015

"The Climb" Summer Studio Week 3

One of the hardest things for a parent to do is see or hear their child struggle. 
However, we all know they do and they will. 
When they are first born, the cries of life bring us relief and happiness. Little did we know that was probably the last time their tears would bring us such joy. 
From there, we are taught to rock them, swing them, shush them, wrap them, feed them, change them, etc... on and on....all in efforts to "keep them happy". 

At some point, the child reaches a point in their development where we don't have the same power we previously held in easing their pain and making them happy.
The child appears to want the opposite of whatever we say. 
If you're anything like me, this stage of natural development is very annoying.
However, I am always on the lookout for the "lesson" my children teach me.  Everyday there is a new one.
As many of you know, my kids have been "testing" the Unit blocks out at home...My 7 year old daughter wanted to build a staircase to her wooden house.

As she began to build, it fell down.  She tried again, it fell again.

I was "reading" on the couch right beside where she was building and couldn't help myself, I just wanted to show her the mathematical aspect of how she was building in order to make it "easier" for her to understand the construction of a staircase.
Thankfully, she got angry with me and told me to "Buzz Off".  I took the hint and went into another room.

I wish I had kept count but it must have been 15 times at least of hearing her YELL, "I can't do this!" "That's it!" "I'm never doing this again!" over and OVER and OVER again.  As, I would hear the loud crash of wooden blocks on the floor.
Each time she walked away, after a minute or less, she would come back and try again.
I was quiet and in the other room, just listening.
Eventually, she came out and asked me to look.
 I couldn't believe it.  

Which leads me to my favorite Game of Thrones quote:
“Chaos isn’t a pit. Chaos is a ladder. Many who try to climb

 it fail, and never get to try again. The fall breaks them. 

And some are given a chance to climb, but refuse. They 

cling to the realm, or love, or the gods…illusions. Only the 

ladder is real. The climb is all there is. But they’ll never 

know this. Not until it’s too late.” - Littlefinger
Watching your children climb and fall, climb and fall is the Chaotic pit of Parenthood. All we can hope for is to see them get back on the ladder and try again and again. We cannot make the climb for them. Perhaps we are here only to be a witness.
Tears, frustration, anger ALWAYS seem to precede times of immense developmental growth in my children.  

If I can stop myself from trying to "make it better" and instead embrace the child and all her emotions, we seem to be climbing the steps of the ladder together.  She is my witness and I hers.