Does your face light up?

Dear Wonder'ers,

A few thoughts going into week 8... Sometimes it takes years and years before we can see or hear from our children how our parenting has affected them.

My 10 year old son recently has been a carline safety patrol at his school.

This has been so important to him. He loves helping his peers and the younger students into their cars each afternoon.

The other day he came home and said, "Mom, thanks for always smiling when you pick me up from school." He explained that he has noticed many parents are on their phones or don't acknowledge their children when they get into the car.

I'm not telling you this story to brag because I promise you there have been plenty of times I have been a distracted parent.... but I will tell you one of the most important things I heard years ago that I think of almost everyday.

From Brene Brown's Website: https://brenebrown.com/blog/2019/08/07/what-toni-morrison-taught-me-about-parenting/

Oprah said, “Toni says a beautiful thing about the messages that we get about who we are when a child first walks into a room,” and she asked her to talk about it.

Toni Morrison explained that it’s interesting to watch what happens when a child walks into a room. She asked, “Does your face light up?”

She explained, “When my children used to walk in the room when they were little, I looked at them to see if they had buckled their trousers or if their hair was combed or if their socks were up. You think your affection and your deep love is on display because you’re caring for them. It’s not. When they see you, they see the critical face. What’s wrong now?”

Her advice was simple, but paradigm-shifting for me. She said:

“Let your face speak what’s in your heart. When they walk in the room my face says I’m glad to see them. It’s just as small as that, you see?”

I remember seeing this conversation on the Oprah show way before I had children of my own, maybe even before I was a teacher. But, this has always remained my goal each and every encounter with a child, whether it's my own children or yours.

It's why the greeting at Wonder Studio is so very important to me, I want your child to see me so very GLAD to see them. It doesn't matter to me at all if they hide or are shy or even ignore me.


We can't hold ourselves to perfection and I won't promise it, but this is an aspiration I put into my daily life.

I am trying more and more to apply this to more than just children... how am I when I see my own parents, my friends, my husband?

Am I slowing down enough to honor the people I am interacting with.

This morning, I had to stop for a new car battery, I got out my phone to scroll while I waited for the person to install a new one. Then, I stopped, put my phone away and silently wished this person well who was installing a car battery. I didn't say much but I decided I would be "THERE" with her. I'm not sure what it did for her, but I know it did me a world of good.