Blessings of a Skinned Knee 9am Class

I can't remember the exact quote...it was from Blessings of a Skinned Knee by Wendy Mogel...
Something about if your not enjoying Parenting about 90% of the time, you're doing something wrong.  That has stuck with me these past 4 years in raising my two little ones.  Some days I have to admit, I only enjoyed parenting that day maybe 10% and it was 90% not enjoy (to put it numerically somehow doesn't make that statement seem as sad! ;)

But...Many, Many days it has fallen the other way...I guess that's how parenting is...Up and down, up and down...
I love reading about IDEAL parenting and teaching strategies...and of course, I also love to blog about my observations in class and about those everyday parenting struggles.

But Parenting (as teaching is) is never IDEAL, you can never always make the right decision, the right choice.  There are always extenuating circumstances...We can simply do the best we can at that moment, possibly reflect on it later, as we lay awake at 2am...and maybe make a different choice the next day.

Compassion is something I can try and offer to my fellow human beings (Big and Little ones) everyday...What does it mean to be compassionate?
Not Patient...I don't like that word, it indicates that we are putting up with something Unpleasant...I hear it often from people when they learn what I do for a living..."Oh You must be very patient to be a teacher of young children."

I do like the word, Understanding.  Things usually go better in my day when I am Understanding to those around me.  Treating my children as well as my husband, the way I want to be treated.  Understanding that my child is not me and not a reflection on me.  So she (and he) will make mistakes, test boundaries, do really weird and bizarre things that I cannot always relate to.

What I learned from the book, Blessings of a Skinned Knee, is that allowing my children to make those mistakes, offering compassion, but being careful not to Swoop in and save the day, allowing the hurt, the pain, and the tears will ultimately be a blessing for my child.  Being careful not to Judge my child (as well as other children), being careful not to judge other parents, and most of all, Not holding myself in Judgement.  This is the Key to enjoying parenting 90%.

I will continue to advocate for The Wonder Studio being a Judgement Free Place.  A place where the children will not feel judged for their choices and where the adults will learn to do the same!!!

The Wonder Studio will be a place where we can all ask questions, try out some different techniques and strategies with our fellow Man, Make mistakes, and this is the really secret part...sshhh, don't tell anyone I said this...!!


We don't even have to learn from our mistakes...at least...not right away...we can simply just work towards Understanding.

Wants Nothing Time 10:30 Class

My daughter soooo wants to be able to play with her 1 year old brother...it's been the most beautiful and truly inspiring process to watch.  She is very motivated to try different techniques and learn what motivates him to interact with her.

She has taught me so much about children and what they want...


The other day, she told me, "I am going to play with Artie, and I am going to copy everything he does..." She seemed to think he would really enjoy this...

And he DID!!!  She spent almost 40 minutes, doing exactly as he did...As he crawled around (or walked), banging the remote control on different surfaces, she grabbed another remote (you know we all have multiples of those devices), and followed his lead.  As he laid on the floor hiding under a blanket, so did she.  
You never saw 2 happier children...and they were indeed Playing Together!!

I spent that time, just watching, and learning from my own children...that what motivates children to have a sense of Agency, to be investigative... is to simply follow their lead, without having your own agenda.  


My daughter was able to let go her own Agenda and her own wants and allow her younger brother to be in charge.  

Maybe...the hour you are with your child at The Wonder Studio...maybe that can be your "Wants Nothing" time.  Magda Gerber explains this "Wants Nothing" time as time you devote to your child where you aren't trying to Teach something, you follow your child's lead, and allow them the respect and trust to Know what they are doing.
Even if you only do this for 30 minutes (or maybe an hour on Wednesdays) a day, what could You learn from your child?
The possibilities are endless!!

We all have many times during the day when we Do Want Something from our child...but giving them the gift of just our undivided, not distracted self , for a limited time, will perhaps make those "Want Something" times go more smoothly.  

Janet Lansbury explains it here in her blog:  http://www.janetlansbury.com/2011/08/why-the-whining-and-4-steps-to-eventual-peace/

 Give undivided, positive attention

Even newborn babies know whether or not they have our full attention, and a day’s worth of half-attention doesn’t fulfill our child’s needs. As Magda Gerber writes in Your Self-Confident Baby, our children need to periodically receive the message “You are important. You are number one right now.”

Magda encouraged parents to take advantage of feeding, bathing, diapering and dressing as natural opportunities for one-on-one attention. 

She also recommended periods of “wants nothing” quality time, time when we allow our child to be the initiator of activities while we observe, support, respond and participate as the child requests.  This is illustrated beautifully in “Five Minutes Makes A Difference” from Hand In Hand Parenting. 

As you read in my emails and Parenting handbook, I urge you to use this time to Observe your child (as well as the other children) and learn about and from your little one.  They have so much wisdom inside!


Pull up a chair or somehow make yourself less big, and be close by, letting them know, your not "Watching" what they do...but instead you are SEEING who they are!