Good Job! Week 7 at The Wonder Studio

I've been interested in the variety of ways parents and caretakers approach praise with their children at Wonder Studio.

 Sometimes, I hear cheers and clapping and boisterous "Good Job!"'s as the children play.

 Other times, it's more of a reflexive answer to the child's action.

The child acts, the parent praises.

 And... the most difficult form of praise to observe at The Wonder Studio, is the simple smile or quiet look of appreciation from the adult.

 I wonder how praise affects the children at Wonder Studio and I wonder how it affects my children at home?

 How important is praise and how often is enough?  

 I know, I certainly appreciate being noticed and appreciated, myself.

I love it when my husband says, out of the blue, "I love you."

 This morning, my daughter said, "Mom, this is the best breakfast you ever made!"

 Last Tuesday, when I picked up my son from preschool, he gave me the tightest hug and kissed my face so fiercely.  

 And, last Saturday after my Spooky and Silly Saturday class, Ashlyn left me a note that said, "Thank you, Ms. Shannon."

 Wow...these moments make me feel like a million bucks!  It helps to validate my job as a wife, mother, and teacher.

 However, these moments are few and far between...and there are times when I wonder if anyone notices all that I do and how hard I work...

At these moments, I find myself asking, "Why do I do this?"
"What is my purpose?"

I am even sad and frustrated.

 Typically, that frustration and sadness leads me to reach out...

I reach out to my family, I reach out to my colleagues...
I reach out to the my God.

I ask for help and guidance.

 And, when I reach out and when I ask for help... I find that I typically Receive it.

And, that leads me to being appreciative, and praising the universe for my good fortune.

 So, the other day at Wonder Studio... The children were playing with the froggy pendulum... having fun knocking down the towers, building them back up again and cheering as the children continued to knock them down again and again.

 I asked the adults to try and quiet themselves and NOT cheer and praise the children for their play.

As soon as the praise stopped, the children walked away from the game.

 I think the adults were disappointed that the game was now over.

And, perhaps even felt confused on what to do, what to say, and how to react to their child.

 We watch football and baseball games at my house. And we cheer them obnoxiously on, enjoying ourselves.

These games are made much more fun when the audience is lively!
Sometimes, the players in the game even Play better when the audience is LOUDER.

 However, is a child's Play a game?

Or... Is a child's play how they learn?

It may sometimes appear "GameLike" but it's really play.

 When I am learning, reading, writing, calculating and experimenting, I think I would be distracted if someone beside me were cheering me on...  Do I really need those moments to be continually noticed and reinforced?  

 As I sit here writing this blog, what would happen if my husband walked in and said, "Good Job."??

 Most likely, I would be annoyed and somewhat confused on why he was interrupting me to insert himself into my business.

 However, after I write my blog and he reads it, he sometimes offers me his opinion... He might say, he enjoyed reading it...He might offer his take-away...

 I often feel that the children are at a disadvantage with all of us watching their every move.
It also puts us at an unfair position of being a part of what really should be their own intimate moments...
Too often, because we are all there, we distract them, we interrupt them, and we talk to them when what they really need is to not do a good job.

 Not doing a good job, means failing.

Not doing a good job, means making mistakes.

Not doing a good job, means trying again and again.

Not doing a good job, means experimenting with a new idea.

 I have a friend who is doing a DeTox diet to try and rid herself of her bad eating habits.

What if we all put ourselves on a DePraise diet?

Could you do it?

Could you work hard and consistently to notice when you Want to praise, I mean sincerely and honestly you are proud of your child and... learn to differentiate that from just responding to your child?

 And, I really wonder how this DePraise diet will affect your child's play?

Do they depend upon your praise to play?  Do they depend upon your attention to enjoy learning?

How could that dependency affect the rest of their lives?

 Are you willing to detox with me?