It depends... Wonder Science 2.25

What is the role of the adult in children's play?

The answer to this question is quite complex and as the educators in Reggio Emilia often say, "It depends."

At home with my own little ones, I notice the times they play the longest and with the most focus are when I am also "playing".
Wait...Let me be more clear.
I don't mean playing with them.

In their eyes, Mom is "playing" when she is cleaning the kitchen, folding the laundry, cooking, etc...
What feels like meaningless tasks to me...somehow...appears to be really worthwhile to my children.

Now, if I pick up the phone or try and get on the computer...All Hell breaks loose!  Everyone is crying, hitting, hitching a ride on my back, etc...
For some reason, this kind of adult "play" is not seen as important by my children and instead I should be paying attention to them.

Any child development book will tell you that children of this age are "Egocentric".  In other words, the world should revolve around them.

However, I disagree slightly here.

I notice myself interrupting my husband more often when he's checking his phone, sending an email, etc...

I never interrupt him whilst he does the laundry ;)...

We have all been out with someone who might have a phone conversation or texting, etc while in our presence...It's a strange feeling to only have the physicalness of that person and not the "spirit" of the person.

Somehow, washing dishes and folding laundry don't seem to steal our spirit the way those electronic devices do.

And children are so smart to see this.

Perhaps, what might seem like children being selfish... is really a whole person who doesn't appreciate being next to a 1/4 person.

And smartly enough, they demand it should end!

In class, I tend to notice the exact same Phenomena.

The play is better when the parents/caregivers are NOT talking with the other parents/caregivers.

I notice some really good play happening when the adults also "play" alongside their child.
I don't mean "teaching" them how to do this, how to do that...

But, actually trying to learn with the child.  

Instead of "What color is this? What shape is that?"

Asking questions that they really don't know the answer to...

"I wonder what would happen if we did.."

"I am curious about this..."

Parents, who are taking this time in class to appreciate what their child can already do.  They relish this time to observe their child and get ideas for play at home.

I don't believe children need us to play with all the time.  However, they do seem to need our spirit. 

And on those days, when I am able to give my children 20 minutes here, 20 minutes there of my Undivided attention...
I find they are able to allow me 20 minutes here, 20 minutes there of time to send an email, talk to a friend, etc...They are more willing to share my spirit with others.

It just depends.