Fall 2022 - Week 3 of Wonder Studio: Unshakably Good

 Week 3 of Wonder Studio: Unshakably Good.

Hello Wonder'ers,

I recently listened to two podcasts that I feel are worth mentioning, I will list the links below...

Father Greg Boyle from Homeboy Industries talked about all of us being Unshakably Good.

The importance of letting go of good/bad people and putting a bar for others to measure up to.

He asks this question of:

How do we Cherish one another?

"G" said his intention is always to 

"Delight in the people in front of him."

And, then Dr. Becky followed this message with teaching our children they are Good.

When behaviors are difficult, we begin with "Good Kid".

She says,  “That’s not how behavior change works. We don’t change behavior by inserting a different behavior after. We change behavior by changing the process that would happen before.” Don’t we want to focus on the before? And that doesn’t make sense by focusing on the after. So that’s the biggest thing. So what would help? Well, I wonder what my good kid would need to not jump on the couch after I asked.

 If I assume he’s a good kid having a hard time, not a bad kid doing bad things… 

To me, both of these Podcasts are speaking about seeing both ourselves and others as "good".

Begin there.

Dr. Becky ended one of the Podcasts with this exercise which I find sooooooo tender and a KEY PARENTING SKILL. She says:

"So I think right now, if you think about something that you hold with a lot of shame, right? It’s something you did today, it’s something you did years ago, it’s some moment or behavior you remember and you’re like, it just feels that awful shame feeling. Then, form this fill-in-the-blank sentence with it. 

I’m a good person who xxx xxxx. 

So mine might be, I’m a good person who yelled at my kids this morning. 

That formula I find is the simplest way to remind your body that who I am as a person inside is separate from this thing or this decision or this behavior that I really don’t feel proud of.

At Wonder Studio we talk about it being a Non-Judgement Zone.

Not judging ourselves, our kids, or the other kids/caregivers.

This helps us all to feel safe and to learn who we truly are inside. 

Good.

Let me know your thoughts!

Ten Percent Happier Podcasts

#489. Can You Really Conquer Hatred Through Love? | Father Gregory Boyle

https://www.tenpercent.com/podcast-episode/father-gregory-boyle-489

We Can Do Hard Things Podcast with Glennon Doyle

Breaking cycles and Reparenting yourselves with Dr. Becky

https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/we-can-do-hard-things-with-glennon-doyle/id1564530722?i=1000579281486

How to Raise Untamed Kids with Dr. Becky

https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/we-can-do-hard-things-with-glennon-doyle/id1564530722?i=1000579533370

Wonder Seekers and Finders - Week 1 at Wonder Studio.

This past week at a Sunday sunrise Open Water Swim, we had another First Timer. I LOVE having first timers join me in adventures. I LOVE being a first timer too…well sometimes, LOL!

Before we got started, she shared her fears, concerns, and nervousness. I really appreciated the reminder that this was something new for her. Something that put her outside her normal comfort zone. When you have done something multiple times, newness can sort of fall away, and it can be a struggle to appreciate the beauty behind why you started in the first place. During our first times, we have little expectations and a high level of concentration. We notice every detail, and our minds and bodies are super sensitive and we have a heightened sense of awareness. 

Gosh, it’s really amazing. That sense of surprise and Wonder.

As we got going with our swim and we checked in at the 500 yard mark..I could see that her fears had gone and a fire had been ignited. This is the joy of life, I think. To witness someone’s life change before your very eyes. To see fear transformed into joy. 

The next thing that happens can be like this…

Repetition. 

My daughter just joined the Cross Country team at her high school. The daily practices in the heat and the five or 6 miles a day is Brutal. At first, you can struggle to want to keep doing this. One could possibly feel that they are not good at this. And, the truth is, they aren’t. Haha.

The Juniors and the Seniors are making it look easy. You think, “I will never be able to do that.”

And, then one day, maybe even a year later. You are doing it and it’s now something beyond brutal. 

It’s still hard and tiring but there’s enjoyment in running in the mud, you can trust your body, you feel like you could run for days. You begin to see that there is a cycle in things.

You learn about yourself…how effort, time, and repetition, and good teammates and coaches build successes. But more than success. A joy.

Sustainable Joy.

As with sports, Wonder Studio is like this too.

We can appreciate how some of the children are fresh in the “water”, others are in the repetition phase, and a few are in the Sustainable joy phase. 

I just love and appreciate how important each phase is.

And, some will cycle through all the phases in ONE class!!

And, through their lives and our lives, we see these cycles. 

We are looking forward to a great Fall session and our deepest wish is to witness those “fires ignited”. Wonder Seekers and Finders. 

Let us go.

Let us go.

Always, let us know if you have questions or comments about Your Little First Timers!! We love any and all feedback that is offered in Kindness.